


Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit - Day 1,108 (Part II)

by crazyoldhermit



Series: Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit [31]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 20:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7005280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyoldhermit/pseuds/crazyoldhermit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The satirical saga continues, as Obi befriends everyone's favorite walking carpet. Although something of a peace-loving space hippie, Chewie demonstrates why it is unwise to upset a Wookiee. </p><p>www.ramblingsofacrazyoldhermit.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit - Day 1,108 (Part II)

TATOOINE - Day 1,108 (Part II)

As we walked out of the Cantina, I never felt safer. I had a hairy behemoth beside me, and although he was unarmed I did not doubt his ability to vaporize an opponent with his bare hands. 

"That was really far out what you did for me in there," Chewie said in his native tongue. "Boba Fett is a bummer, man."

"It was my pleasure," I answered him in his own language. "I cherish the Wookiees, and encourage their freedom whenever possible. So when did you arrive on Tatooine, and why did you come here?"

"Well man, I just got here today," he began. "And it's like this, a lot of heavy shit went down on Kashyyyk."

"I heard all about it, and I'm sorry for your loss."

Chewie continued, "Thanks, man. So you can dig it? Yeah, I was lucky to escape with my life. I've been hitching rides on ships and backpacking across the galaxy, trying to find my people, man."

I stopped for a moment as the crowded street continued to rush passed up. I looked Chewie in the eye and said, "Any Wookiee is a friend of mine. I'd like to invite you to stay at my hut with me. It's isolated and safe, and maybe I can help you locate your people."

"You are one groovy dude, Ben. Thanks."

Chewbacca nearly stepped in a big heaping turd laying in the middle of the street. I tried to imagine the work involved in removing fecal matter from his dense fur. It would probably be best to just shave his foot clean. 

Finally, Chewie asked, "How do you know Shyriiwook?"

"Well," I fumbled a bit, "my old Mast...umm, teacher felt it was very important to keep up good relations with the Wookiees, and the first step to that is through language."

Chewie chuckled. "I can dig it, Ben. Or can I call you Obi-Wan?"

I nearly tripped over my robe when he called me by my real name. 

Chewie smiled. "And can I assume that your teach was small and green?"

"Wow," was all I could muster.

"I know a Jedi when I see one, man. With that getup, I didn't think you were a moisture farmer."

"You'd be surprised," I said, thinking of that prick Owen. 

I looked around to see if I was being set up for something. "It seems, my rather large friend, that you have me at a disadvantage."

"No reason to bug out." Chewie placed his massive hand on my shoulder. "Everything is totally copacetic. Yoda was a great friend to my people. In fact man, I was with him on Kashyyyk the day the clones wigged out."

Feeling a great sense of relief, I asked, "So are you here for me?"

"No, man," Chewie laughed again. "It's just the Force working in mysterious ways. Isn't it a mind trip?"

"That it is, my friend. That it is."

"Bitchin' ride," Chewie roared as we reached my landspeeder. 

We hovered over the sand at a great rate of speed because I feared for Chewbacca's safety.

"You don't carry a weapon?" I yelled over the whooshing wind. 

"No man, I haven't found a blaster that I could hold comfortably in my hands."

"I could see that," I chuckled. "We'll have to find you something. Tatooine isn't a very hospitable world."

There were a few moments of silence, then Chewie spoke, "He thought very highly of you."

This completely caught me off guard. "Who?"

"Yoda. That cat couldn't stop praising you. You dig?"

"Yes," I began to feel a tad emotional. "I dig."

Chewie appeared to be deep in thought, until he sprung up in his seat in excitement. "There is another dude that we may have in common."

"Who could that be?" This was turning out to be quite a day. 

"Well, she'd be more of a dudette actually. She saved me from Trandoshan hunters. Her name was Ahsoka Tano."

At the sound of her name I was overcome with emotion. Tears filled my eyes, as I tried to ponder what could have happened to that poor child. Did she survive? Where could she have gone? Most importantly, what would Anakin do to her if her ever found her?

Chewie cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to be a downer, man. Didn't mean to bring stuff up."

"No, it's ok Chew..." That's when the sound of thrusters came roaring up from behind. 

Before I could register what was happening, Boba Fett had landed in the back seat of my speeder. He drew his blaster and pointed it at Chewbacca, as I quickly sliced the weapon in half with my lightsaber. 

Boba reached for another one of his gadgets as Chewie jumped out of his seat, spun around and grabbed the Bounty Hunter. Boba struggled for only a second before the Wookiee ripped his arm off. The young clone stood frozen in shock until Chewie finally bashed him across the helmet with his own arm, causing Boba to fall to the sand racing beneath us.

"Well," I said, stunned, "I guess now I understand how you can travel the galaxy unarmed...no pun intended."

Chewie roared in laughter. Then he shrugged his hairy shoulders and casually tossed Boba Fett's arm out of the speeder. 

When we parked outside of my hut I gave Chewbacca a warning. "Now you have to understand, Boba Fett will eventually be back. And he knows where I live. So we must always be on guard here."

"That's a drag, man," Chewie said as he kicked a rock.

Entering my hut I began to explain, "The thing about the villains on Tatooine is that they always seem to turn up..."

"That's far enough, Kenobi."

Sitting on my couch with a bowcaster pointing at us was Vinto Tox.


End file.
